crazyandalone

Match, Rack and Sop

2008-07-06T16:31:05Z

Ok met two women this weekend, and my gut feeling was right. I'm really keen on one but will she be as keen on me as I am on her?

And I'm still looking into my tatoo. What to do? I really need to track down an artist or arty type who can draw what I describe so I can take it down the tatoo shop.

Now back to the present second, I need to sell some stuff before I let myself buy more stuff.

Part privatise the world, make it a shitty place, for you and for me.........

2008-04-14T22:27:12Z

.....but not the investors, just the rest of the human race.

I've probably spoken out about part privatised schemes before, if you haven't heard me then you are one of the many who just plain ignore the stuff that spouts out of my mouth. Overall the fact that if you pay less for a privatised service (that needs to run a profit), than the state run equivalent (which ran at cost), how can you possibly expect an equivalent level of service.

The only thing that can happen to already underfunded state services is that they are no longer the Governments responsibility and the services continue to go downhill.

The various schemes in effect with the NHS, IRS, GPO, BT, North Sea fuel, Government etc which piss me off at least do not affect me on a day to day level. The increasing privatisation of the army leaves me wondering, we no longer own the buildings, the vehicles, the uniforms, the kit, so do we even own the rifles?

The point behind the army is that if everything goes to shit it can keep running and help defend and rebuild the country, as most of the investors live overseas surely this is no good thing?

Oh and my conquest on match.com is falling on its arse. I simply can't put the time in, but I shall persevere.

United we conquer

2008-02-28T23:14:50Z

I took this picture at the Commando Memorial by the Spean Bridge in Scotland.

The motto on the front reads; "United We Conquer"

I was thinking how that is not just a reflection of the people that gave their lives on the front line but the complete path of life.

"The Commandos 1940-45

In the summer of 1940 when Britain's fortunes in World War II were at their lowest ebb and an enemy invasion was threatened, Winston Churchill boldly ordered the raising of an elite force to raid the enemy-held coastline of Europe and regain the initiative.

The new units, which initially consisted of volunteers from the regiments and corps of the British Army, were called 'Commandos'.

Within weeks they were in action in Europe later in the Middle East and the Far East. During the next five years they fought in every theatre of war with such success that the word 'Commando' became feared by the enemy - yet respected by friendly forces.

In 1942 the Commando Basic Training Centre was established in the Scottish Highlands at Achnacarry. There potential Commando soldiers (who by then came from not only the British Army but also the Royal marines and the Allied Armies) underwent their tough and purposeful training. Only those who successfully completed all the course were accepted and privileged to wear the famous Green Beret. This distinctive head-dress was acknowledged as the hallmark of the highest standards of military training, self-discipline, physical endurance, initiative, bravery and courage whilst under their simple motto United We Conquer a comradeship beyond literary description was born, fostered and flourished.

For their valour in action the Commandos earned thirty-eight battle honours and many awards including eight Victoria Crosses, but many made the supreme sacrifice, no fewer than 1,700 Commando soldiers lost their lives and others were seriously wounded. It was a record that prompted Winston Churchill to pay the following tribute to the Commandos: "We may feel sure that nothing of which we have any knowledge or record has ever been done by mortal men which surpasses their feats of arms. Truly we may say of them when shall their glory fade."

I started my application for the Commando course.

HALT, who goes there?

2008-02-08T09:51:14Z

Guard is even more boring than it was in Iraq, and P is taking his job to a new level, we have to check the ID of people we know and of vehicles we literally just issued car passes to. I could understand if I was one of the MPS blokes who doesn't know anyone but its stupid when you ask the RSM for ID, hes the bloody RSM, I'm pretty sure someone hasn't stolen his FACE!

ADRIAAAAAN!!!!!

2008-01-17T00:22:20Z

Bitch slapped that double steppin Mantico' fewl...

Using my Colossus form, ie I get big and kick the shite out of my enemies;

Mainly, I think, because I was wearing Santa's Winter Coat;

Now I just need to find the rest of Sherlock Holmes' gear for my Ninja..... no seriously it feckin rocks.

Serious matters.

2008-01-16T22:14:59Z

Ok my life has been very busy recently with alot of things, visiting family and friends, getting my medal made up, fixing and upgrading my computer. I am also keeping myself active with regular exercise, a 27 miles mike race last week and climbing Ben Nevis next week.

But most important of all....Titan Quest.

My main character has defeated the Dragon Liche King;
http://img106.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dragonlichekingfightingok0.jpg
http://img106.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dragonlichekingdefeatedww8.jpg
killed the main boss, Typhon Bane Of The Gods on Epic mode;
http://img90.imageshack.us/my.php?image=typhonbaneofthegodsfighop7.jpg
http://img106.imageshack.us/my.php?image=typhonbaneofthegodsdefelx9.jpg
and completed the secret area several times, no pics no spoilers.

I have also started several secondary characters and even got a friend interested and played through normal mode with one of my new characters along with his.

So now its finally time, the MANTICORE IS GOING DOWN!!!!!

Mixture of good and bad

2007-12-28T23:24:39Z

Ok so the week started off with the usual mixture of trivial matters punctuated by fun and good stuff, meeting friends etc, and getting killed by some random creature in Titan Quest for the sixty millionth freakin time. Manticore pic (http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y121/corporalgeo/titanquestThrone/ManticoreLegend.jpg ) description (http://vnboards.ign.com/titan_quest_general_board/b23058/99428576/p1/) and youtube videos give the impression I need to play this game more than casually to defeat it.

So today I wasn't expecting much. Well how wrong was I.

I left my house to spend the day working at Princess Alice ( before I joined the army I volunteered there for 3 days a weeks for 6 months, it helped split up my fitness routine) as they have very few staff left alone volunteers and there is free tea.

At about 3pm a lady entered the shop, I was quietly informed by the manager that she was a drug addict and caused alot of trouble, I did heed his advice BUT I did not treat her any differently, she then proceeded to give me a lecture on how "people are dying out there", "you should get into the real world", "some people live hard lives" etc blah blah blah. Ok I did feel some compassion for her but her assumption that I was some waster and that members of staff at charity shops were useless layabouts did not win her any favour in me.

I am not talking about myself but I know that within the walls of that one shop are several people who do deserve public recognition for their work, people at the ends of their lives with amazing stories to tell, but who still endure and keep working to make this world a better place for other people.

After about 5 minutes of this continuous verbal assault on my ears she then decided that I needed a lecture on the politics of the world from Plato to Putin, despite her mixing up various countries and politcal leaders, ideals and spectrums of political belief I did not hit her or otherwise.

How I did not grab her by her throat and slowly constrict until the life, under my supervision, had been squeezed from her body I do not know. But I wanted to. I do not go around mentioning that I'm just come back from Iraq unless I know someone or they probe until simple diversions are ineffective. Picking up pieces of people after a rocket attack is one thing that makes you realise just how fragile life is.

Everyone in the world has their hard times, everyone, just because they don't go around lecturing people on their experiences does not mean they need to be lectured.

ANYHOW she left and I used a brillo pad to scrub my hand clean.

So a "little" (read: very) vexed I headed home looking for something to take out my anger on, no luck.

However on the way to Brixton to visit some family we stopped at a local independent bike shop just as it was shutting and found a very high spec £600 bike reduced to £300, and now that bike is mine.

So I guess good luck and bad luck come as a pair.

crazyandalone @ 2007-12-28T00:18:00

2007-12-28T00:37:39Z

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article3099884.ece
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7161590.stm
http://comment.independent.co.uk/leading_articles/article3289199.ece

The shit has hit the fan, I was going to post a note the other day saying about, in my opinion, the importance of staying in Afghan until the job is done, for a few reasons, mainly as its a just internationally sancionted NATO and UN action.

Some countries in those groups are not pulling their weight, some of the smaller NATO members are pulling more than their fair share.

With this news Afghan is going to escalate from a war against the taliban into a total free for all.

Despite the fact that (http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/world/afghanistan/images/afghanistan_conflict_vulnerable_population.jpg) the humanitarian crisis is evenly spread through out the country, opium and taliban operations are heavily concentrated to the south, along the shared border with pakistan and in the heavily tribal areas (http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/world/afghanistan/images/afghan-map_011219.gif, http://religionandterror.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/un-map-of-worsening-security-october-2007.jpg, http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/library/news/2003/11/031113-d-6570c-004.jpg).

Without Bhutto, who promised to allow NATO troops to pursue Taliban forces into Pakistan, Taliban forces will once again find Sanctuary in the mountains of Pakistan. The corruption in the country and "tradition" of bribery will ensure that once permission to pursue the Taliban comes through they will have either been long gone or tipped off.

Not that Bhutto was incorruptible (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/337983.stm) but compared to rest of them she might as well have been. And for what its worth, President Pervez Musharraf was right, despite the Americans accusations, to declare a security situation, a failed attempt had already been made on her life less than 6 weeks ago and even before regular terrorist attacks were commonplace.

It is almost as if America wanted the situation to deteriorate so that they had a good reason to assume border control and get NATO into Pakistan.

Maps Source; http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/world/afghanistan/maps.htm

DIE BRATZ DIE!!!!!

2007-12-21T09:58:23Z

"Come on then LETS FUCKIN HAVE IT!!!"

Is probably my come on of choice when defeating the 34 five year olds I can take down.

http://www.justsayhi.com/bb/fight5 - How many 5 year olds can you take down?!?!? (The quiz seems to have stopped working but it was fun while it lasted).

ALONE!?!?!?

2007-12-21T09:52:06Z

Apparently, as one of the two dating sites I use tells me, today is the worst day to be single.

Whoop te doo!! Let me just use my magic sex scent and trap me some ladies!? Ironically I have put off meeting one woman as she is too far away (on the Northern Line) and I can't really be arsed to go there. I think the reason any relationship I have is doomed is becoming apparent to me, I put more effort into everything else.

My list of priorities;

1. Family & friends.
2. Food
3. Sleep
4. Fitness fix
5. Computer fix (games and electronic commerce and contact)
6. TV (news and comedy)
7. Work
8. Personal Admin (Shopping/Clothes/Haircut)
9. Sleep some more?
10. Room is tidy and self is clean
11. Laundry
12. Savings and Investments
13. Porn
14. Clean the house.
15. Serious Relationship.

There are probably a few more items, fuck, missed off alchohol and films. And the result of any I've missed is #15 gets pushed down further. Maybe its just a case that I haven't met the right person, someone I actually want to meet.

BREAKIN' THE LAW!!!

2007-12-20T19:03:28Z

Had myself a chilled out day playing Titan Quest to the back beat of rock music. Even tried it online. You can use your single players characters in multiplayer, so was leading some low level people through the game (it has ragdolls so my character, level 54, was literally knocking enemies off the map) when my connection was lost. At the time I was easily killing the surrounding flora & fauna, but I can only imagine the dismay on the peoples faces as my character dissapeared and the attention of the gorgons and cyclops was switched. Of course I was making a cup of tea while I thought about it.

A friend of mine brought his baby round and, not despite but, especially because he is at an acceptable age to have children it made me think, where have all the years gone. I must stress that I am infact well aware of where the years went I am just being fecicious (which by the way is one word I truly cannot spell so I am relying on phonetics).

It also led me to think I may start writing again, I have several ideas but I think I need to throw them around a bit and see which ones make most impact.

Everything in its right place?

2007-12-17T23:32:37Z

Spent today sorting my room at my parents house, most of my things are at barracks now and I plan to keep things that way, but during the Christmas period I will be spending most of my time in this house so I've set up my parents computer and desk to the effect that the room appears as an office with a bed being stored in it instead of a bedroom with two desks.

However having finished setting everything up something had to go wrong and a small component in my computer has decided to play up.

Tits.

Thats something else I've been thinking I need to get my hands on.

NOTE TO SELF

2007-12-02T13:09:03Z

STOP FUCKING DRINKING YOU TWAT!!!!

SERIOUSLY.

Returned?

2007-11-25T10:39:29Z

Have I? I know I was there but I feel like I need to go back. I actually miss the place.

Weird.

Back now and two weeks to push until leave starts.

Portal

2007-10-14T02:55:45Z

Not to another realm but simply a game, I have just spent 3 hours playing it and completed it.

I feel good, I have moved one step closer to making good use of my R&R.

There were several things on my list;

1. Play a game late into the night and complete it.
2. Watch several films that I had not seen before with family/friends
3. Have sex without paying for it.
4. Eat some jaffa cakes.
5. Goto the cinema.
6. Find Orion in the sky at night.
7. Sleep until 1200 and if I awake before just lay in bed.
8. Catch up with family and friends.
9. Fix Tommy's laptop.

1 to 3 & 7 to 9 have been completed, albeit I have lost Tommy's laptop charger, I have procured a replacement.

4 to 6 are my objectives for Sunday, which will leave Monday for swearing and cursing, unless of course my flight is brought forward again.

The air?

2007-10-13T19:49:48Z

You notice things when you come back, people smiling, the animals even seem happy, birds tweet. The air carries a fresh clean scent, cooling your cheeks and easing your mind. The sky is blue, there are trees, their leaves a thick luscious green.

You treasure every day, but they pass in a moment.

Out there not even the birds tweet, every living thing craves the shade. The only breeze is hot and dry, smelling of sewage, but even that is mild relief, drying the sweat on your face but leaving dirt. The sky is never clear, always a musky brown, dust is everywhere, and what little plants there are cling on for dear life.

Every day is forever.

Luckily morale is highest when things are at their worst. Unfortunately things are bearable out there which means everyone is simply counting time until the end of the tour.

Oh and did I mention? I rang to confirm and my flight back has been brought closer, I hate the RAF.

Back to work soon.....

2007-10-11T11:18:10Z

Now the Lord of the Realm has glorified the charge of the Light Brigade,
and the thin red line of the Infantry, when will its glory fade?
There are robust rhymes on the British Tar and classics on Musketeers,
but I shall sing till your ear-drums ring of the MUDDY OLD ENGINEERS.

Now it's all very fair to fly through the air or humour a heavy gun,
or ride in tanks through the broken ranks of the crushed and shattered Hun,
And it's nice to think when the U-Boats sink of the glory that outlives the years.
But who ever heard one haunting word for the MUDDY OLD ENGINEERS.

Now you mustn't feel, when you read this spiel, that the sapper's a jealous knave
That he joined the ranks for a vote of thanks in search of a hero's grave.
No! Your mechanized cavalry is quite alright and your Tommy has darned few peers,
but where in hell would the lot of them be if it weren't for the ENGINEERS.

Oh, they look like tramps and build your camps and they sometimes lead the advance,
And they sweat red blood to bridge the flood to give you a fighting chance
Who stays behind when it gets too hot, to blow up roads in the rear?
just tell your wife that she owes your life to some MUDDY OLD ENGINEERS.
SOME DUSTY, CRUSTY, CROAKING, JOKING, MUDDY OLD ENGINEERS!

No fancy crest is pinned to his chest, if you read what his cap-badge says,
Why 'Honi soit qui mal y pense'is a queersome sort of phrase.
But their modest claim to immortal fame has probably reached your ears.
The first to arrive, the last to leave, the MUDDY OLD ENGINEERS.
The
SWEATING
GO GETTING
UPROARIOUS
GLORIOUS
MUDDY OLD ENGINEERS!!

Breathe deeply....

2007-10-11T11:02:29Z

This Royal Throne of kings, this Sceptred Isle,
This Earth of Majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of War,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,—
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm...

...this England.

R&R

2007-10-10T20:11:43Z

Home for a six days, first day is nearly over.

Just thought I'd say, it is nice to be home.

War, HUH, what is it good for......

2007-07-26T08:30:10Z

...money? oil?

Well thats beside the point.

Bags packed for Iraq.

Just time for some food....

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

OMFG TFC ITS F-ING SABOTAGE!!!!!

2007-07-06T19:05:11Z

Off to Iraq. Spending the next few weeks on weapon handling and contact drills.

Still single though, I'd better come back alive or I'll be single forever.

:)

Iraq, Snails and childhood

2007-06-30T00:55:32Z

I've not been drinking alchohol for a while but decided that tonight I would, not because I don;t have a good time without it, on the contrary I had a very good night out drinking just tea (seriously girls I am some fun to be around) but I wanted to start a habit of drinking responsibly.

And without trying I did, went out to Clapham then Wimbledon with a few friends, caught the bus home. Whilst walking up my road I noticed a snail trying to cross the pavement and I paused, I was reminded of an earlier time.

"Once when I was young I was walking to school and I noticed a caterpillar on the floor, having just read the childs book about the caterpillar I was quite inquisitive, as I had never touched or seen a caterpillar in the flesh before.

I picked it up, it was a plain green caterpillar, smooth to the touch and as it moved across my hand it was so light and gentle, yet not scared or running like a fly or a spider but moving confidently across my hand knowing its purpose.

But I half tripped and I dropped the caterpillar, in stopping myself falling I stepped on the caterpillar. I cried, so innocent and gentle, such graceful soft movement and totally at one with the natural world and I had killed it, though not on purpose it did not matter, I had touched something beautiful and now there was no more beauty."

My mind returned to the present and I picked the snail from the paved slabs of the pavement, it withdrew into its shell, its tentacles shooting back in self defence, but it did not need fear, I gently put the snail down into the grass where it would be hidden from predators.

I stayed watching the snail until it emerged from its shell and began its slow march towards the rest of its life, as I walked back I made sure to ensure I did not kill anything I could avoid killing.

A snail is, to me, like a child its shell is the world its parents paint for it, caring and gentle full of family and friends. But when you accidentaly crush a snails shell, its world is destroyed, and it comes crumbling down around it and through all the cracks and fragments the real world comes pouring through.

A snails shell will become too small one day but that day must not be forced or, like a premature birth, the chances of survival are weak.

Even the smallest of life is important, to me beauty is everywhere, but beauty does not see me.

Around a month until TELIC and I am still alone.

All Change, end of the line.

2007-06-13T07:00:12Z

Finished at Chatham, had my Wisdom teeth out and now I'm just healing. From Monday onwards I will be at my permanent posting, 4 years of joy.

So 5 days to chill out and get ready, took me until 5 hours to unpack last night, and I need to take everything to unit. Time for a major clear out.

Hot...

2007-05-29T09:32:58Z

..or not?

Submitted my picture, at least if I get voted pretty low then I can understand my current predicament.

If I get a good score but remain single it'll be a sort of physical oxy-moron.

Hope

2007-05-27T12:09:56Z

Hope? I had hope. I used to believe that out there, in the big wide world, there was a life waiting for me full of happiness with a girl I could trust my innermost thoughts with.

I don’t anymore. I’m not a self harmer or suicidal, I am, though, quietly resigned to a single life, quietly because I’m taking all my feelings and pushing them deep, deep inside me, beyond what I control, into my sub-conscious, where they bubble and burn like a cauldron full of burning oil. All the emotions stew turning to anger, and whenever this cauldron bubbles over it burns me from the inside.

I see young kids with years to go in front of them, but yet they are with someone, maybe not their life partner but they are with someone, someone that for now anyway, they can trust.

I have me. I have never had anyone to share life with in that way, I do try. I try anything and everything to meet this girl that would complete me, but she is not there.

Maybe I am that weird guy who’ll go crazy and do something stupid, I don’t want to be. I have all this anger inside me and no way to let it out, so when I drink myself into oblivion my sub-conscious opens the gates and pours the oil, and though it burns, once it has gone, there is scar tissue which will heal into new pure skin.

Suffice to say, my date cancelled on me.

She asked if I minded, but me, too polite to stand up for himself, say no.

Hit my friend? I’ll hit you. Hurt my family? I hurt you. Hurt me? I’ll just take it and store it, until some point where I just let it pour out.

I think I am some sort of toy that God amuses himself with, maybe I deserve this?